warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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He's leaving for a month on Sunday. Taking a commercial diving course on the island in the hopes that it could land him a job during this pandemic. It sounds frightening the work he has to do, but I'm excited for him. He's had this persistent pain in his lower abdomen for about a week that I've been ruminating about, but luckily he's gone to the doctor to have it checked right before he leaves. Of course, my mind is filled with thoughts that his bowels might rupture deep in the ocean but what can you do. meditate and let the worries be. I keep telling myself I have to see a therapist soon - why is it that I can teach my clients and friends how to manage catastrophic thoughts, but I can't seem to handle it myself. I use CBT at times- meaning, I try to rationalize, think of alternative thoughts and possibilities. I use mindfulness- watch the thoughts pass like clouds in the sky. I use DBT- exercise, exercise, distract, distract.
And they work for moments at a time. Which I suppose is the point. Keep working the skills each time it comes up. Let it do it's thing. and don't ever give up.

9:03 a.m. - 2020-05-27

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