warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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its been a bad day. a bad week even. possibly a pretty bad year so far. of course, nothing externally terrible has occurred in any sense of the word. most of it is in my psyche. its been like a deep sense of impending doom. like something terrible is most definitely going to happen.
are we biologically fixed to be this way? i mean, weren't we biologically or evolutionarily built to be afraid that some sabre tooth tiger was waiting to attack us? except now its in the form of how we look to other people or some crazy irrationalization we've made out of thin air.

i want so bad to get out of my mind. to feel a second of relief from myself. there are moments, but i want to be at peace all the time. i want to be okay with who i am. i'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm tired of feeling guilty about things i did when i was 10 and things i've done because i wanted to feel love and affection.
i'm fucking tired.

3:47 p.m. - 2015-02-03

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