warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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mike called yesterday and said he started seeing someone so we probably shouldn't hook up anymore.
i ended up crying on the phone, telling him that i may have started to develop stronger feelings for him etc. i think now i'm realizing i may have responded..no reacted...to the feeling of rejection. its always a trigger to me to see an old lover with someone new.
except this morning i felt a whole lot better. free, i guess. like now i no longer have to worry about settling with mike because now its just not an option.

i did sleep with james last night though. not entirely sure if that was in response to my being rejected by mike but it felt good to talk to him again, be with him again.

I'm still anxious about certain things again but i find my body is not feeling the same level of tension that it used to. there's more observation to the thoughts, a curious compassion towards myself and i'm finding i'm just more capable of simply being for longer moments.


1:16 p.m. - 2015-02-09

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