warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - currently listening to our piano being tuned. it sounds marvellous when its being played by someone competent (and the piano is actually tuned). we wake up when our bodies want to. have coffee on the massive soft couch his mother bought us. we spend hours cleaning another room in the house- slowly picking at the accumulated dust, dirt, and weeds that have resulted from years of neglect. we make dinner every night and choose another Christmas movie to watch. there is also grief. his tears and bouts of silence come more often. how does one go through the motions of Christmas knowing this could be the last one with him. how do we make plans for anything when the cancer could return at any point. how can we make any decisions when this could be the year everything changes for him. all he wants for him is to grab life by the reigns and spend less time on his phone. and all he wants for himself is it spend time with his grand children. almost every day he implies what this house might look like with kids in it. yesterday we put up the Christmas tree. it looks gorgeous. truly never thought id live a day where I put up the Christmas tree, and not my mum. it's always strange not to be there with them this year. and thinking about how one year will eventually turn into one last time. 12:32 p.m. - 2022-12-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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