warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I keep oscillating between intense bouts of anxiety and indifference, going over my movements of the day over and over again, wondering if I've accidentally caught or infected other people with the virus. My work means that I do have to leave the house almost every day to see vulnerable people. I take precautions, I wear my PPE, but we don't always wear it around other colleagues and sometimes our work space gets small. My partner is not worried at all about catching it, which I think has made him more laissez faire about the whole thing. He says he would rather catch it and get it over with so as to gain immunity and get on with his life, but really. We don't even know how long the immunity would last, if the virus remains in your system only to be reactivated again, if there is permanent or long term damage to the lungs. I guess everyone is in this state--worry, anger, boredom, moments of peace and quiet. I suppose we are all doing our best. When I'm stuck in the other room trying to do work in this weird context, he'll intermittently come in and ask for a hug. It's the only time in my day that feels sane. It's funny, we tell each other every day there is no one else in the world we'd rather be quarantined with. That the only reason this whole situation is somewhat bearable is because we have each other. Before this pandemic he would work 14-15 hours a day, sometimes 6 days a week. I fully expected not to see much of him even when I moved in. But this silver lining, this chance to see him so often all day every day...it's exquisite. 1:17 p.m. - 2020-04-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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