warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - can you be both critical of anxiety and feel its cripping force all at the same time? I work in mental health and I speak to people every day about how crushing and debilitating it is and yet sometimes - maybe because i'm exposed to it so much- i start to think, my is it really that bad if its really that common? then i wake up and i scroll and i scroll and i ruminte and i fixate. i wonder wow is he messaging her? am i crazy? i wonder, did i move too close to my dad when i picked up my faucet from him? is he going to be dead in 5 days and its all because of me. i catastrophize, i think in black and white, i participate in every kind of cognitive distortion there is. I give my partner pieces of this anxiety but not all of it. When i jokingly freak out at him when he touches his face (even though i'm really freaking out). Or i tell him about how worried i am about my partents, my clients, and he does soothe me, rubs my back, says its quite unlikely but it is scary.. and it works for maybe a minute. i should really see a therapist- give me some solid tools to work with my thoughts. i know what to do, maybe someone just needs to tell me to do it. 8:17 a.m. - 2020-04-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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