warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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that apple strudel was probably not the most grand idea, but it felt like it at the time. when your laugh still lingers in my brain and your kiss tingles on my lips moments after the fact, you can't help but think you deserve an apple strudel just to continue that sweet high.

my thoughts went on a self loathing rampage last night. sometimes my friend's energy is so strong that i start to get all ruminating and negative around her, thinking she doesn't like me because she sent me off to a table to sit on my own. i know i'm just interpreting it wrong, but damn this mind can go places that just aren't real.

yesterday the doctor tried to explain to one of my patients how his schizophrenia and psychosis worked. essentially, his auditory and visual cortex is firing out of control and so his brain interprets those voices and those visions as real, even though they are "not actually there." but really, if everything in this world is perceived and interpreted by simply our own brains, how do we know what's really there? if everything we see, hear, experience is simply an interpretation from our brain how do we know " what's REALLY there." like isn't it true that we can only see 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and that there are sounds waves that are brains simply cannot perceive?
what's really there but an interpretation that our brain creates to make sense of the world? just because my reality matches the majority of people's reality doesn't mean that a person with schizophrenia has a reality that is less valid.
its all in the brain.


so when i hear voices telling me i'm not good enough, i'm not creative enough for mike, i'm not going to be able to handle being in trouble at work�they're just voices interpreting the world in way that attempts to make sense of all of it.

in other words, it isn't real.

9:01 a.m. - 2014-05-28

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