warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I feel so empty inside. i told him on the parking lot to the theatre. i cried, i tried to touch him, and then i cried some more. it hurt me to know that i was hurting him, and worse to know that i myself was hurting more than i thought i was going to...he told me that he tried so hard to make me happy, and that if i wasn't happy with him then he wouldn't try to stop me. i cried some more. i wanted to touch him, i wanted him to hold me, i wanted to smell his cologne, i wanted things to be silent and wonderful. god, did i do the right thing? i have no idea. i wish he could have made me happy because he deserves to be happy. my god, i pray that he finds happiness...i have never wanted happiness for someone else this much in my entire life. he told me he has never felt this way for anyone before. i told him that i wished i could have been the girl for him. the hardest part about of all this is that we might both have...you know. i can't even say it. it hurts. and now we have to deal with this all alone. and i don't know what to do. i feel so undesirable. and empty. so fucking empty. the only thing that made me feel somewhat complete was feeling his relentless hug before i left. i wanted it to last forever. i can still remember his head shaking in pain, i still have his tears on my shoulder. i have never felt this way before, and i can't shake off the feeling that i've done something totally wrong. and now we're both alone again. and fuck. i feel so empty. 12:00 a.m. - 2009-07-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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