warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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Miss Sobriety

We're all hypocrites.

So, last night was...something. The Roots were effing SICK. I mean, really. wow. the smell of weed in the air and spilled beer was just ... perfect. i love it. Vicki and I tried to get into The Pit afterwards, but the line was disgusting, and we were pretty tired of lines after waiting an hour to get into the roots! so yeah, we left and went to this place called the Roxy. I was super horny again, obviously, especially after a couple of drinks.. anyway, met some guy who goes to UBC and we started talking about courses and whatnot...but nothing really happened after that. haha. just thought i'd mention it because he was cute.
Anyway, after a couple MORE drinks, went on the dancing floor and met this guy named JEREMY. oh MAN!!! LOVE.

I don't think we have enough body contact in our regular days. SO whenever I have the chance to get some, oh yeah. aslkdjf ugh. just thinking about him =)

He said I was the EPITOME of ASIAN GIRL SEXYNESS. hahaha. WTF? I wanted to punch him in the face for saying something so out of nowhere. but i was supremely flattered. I can't help it, despite me knowing they just want to get in my pants, when a man calls me beautiful..i choose to believe it, for the moment. Anyway, he got my number, and asked me if i wanted to go for coffee sometime. I said, sure. He texted me this morning..i haven't replied just yet. it's scary. i don't need another Luke. But THIS guys just seems...real. he's younger too, and is a self-proclaimed NONCREEP.
One of our drunk conversations went something like this:

Jeremy: So what do you do
Me: I'm in school..
Jeremy: what do you take
Me: Majoring in microbi and calculus..haha I have NO FUCKING IDEA what kind of job i can get with that..
Jeremy: haha, I failed calculus twice. seriously. that's why i took psychology
Me: oh wow. I OWN calculus (WTF)
Jeremy: well, you can OWN me...

HAHA

and then he just kept telling me how beautiful and shit i was. LOVE. =)

Anyway, the strangest part of the entire night, however, was Vicki. She was really upset and wanted to leave real badly. Of course, I didn't want to, but i didn't want to be left alone. So we left, and she started crying..drunk crying. She kept telling me that every time we go out together, the same thing happens. I get hit on by guys and she doesn't. And she hates it. She hates how I always leave her by herself so that I can satisfy my desires. She told me that she didn't understand, that she wants what I have just as bad.
I didn't know what to say. But i reminded her that SHE's the one who experiences real relationships. I have not once been in one. I don't know what its like to be in love, to have someone in my life in a more intimate and real way. These quick highs are nothing compared to the love she experiences.
I would trade all of my one night stands for a moment with someone who cared about me, intimately and truthfully.

And so I settle. I settle so that I can forget.

3:29 p.m. - 2009-04-09

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