warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - we would have spent at least half this year apart by the end of it. all I feel is dread knowing that we're going to be apart for another 2 months come September. his work takes him to far away places filming walrus and lemurs and all sorts of wild creatures but all I feel is abandonment rather than excitement. I get that these are my attachment issues coming to the surface and if anything this whole year has pushed me to the brink and forced me to communicate in ways I haven't before. I've revealed such embarrassing aspects of my personality to him, the sadness, the jealousy the loneliness...it's been heart wrenching at times. like I'm wearing my skin inside out, and every little possible trigger feels like a stab in the chest. in other news, I'll be heading back to Australia in September and will be doing another contract while he's away. rather be lonely somewhere different and beautiful and make a ton of money. we've decided that by April we will find a place together and have a home base again. this gives me hope. this keeps me going. fuck love is hard lol. 9:11 a.m. - 2022-07-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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