warpednormal's Diaryland
Diary
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I am here
The temperature goes up to 36 degrees one day and the next we face heavy thunderous rainstorms, flooding the shed. The first few weeks we are meeting his entire family, in a small farm town, in what is truly the middle of buck fuck nowhere. It's his cousin's wedding, a true farm wedding- dust covering our fancy dresses, intense heat as we drink our beers to keep cool. It's a whirlwind meeting all his cousins, I'm in a drunk haze but oh so happy.
The next few weeks I meet all his high school friends. He tells me all the insane and ridiculous stories he grew up with in this town. From bar fights to stupidly drunk nights to almost killing a guy at 16 years old. He's been a part of every single aspect of this town. From working the bar to managing the local football club, to driving a truck for hours to deliver milk. It's fascinating to me that I have met this man in the city and that's all I've known of him, and yet he has this entire life so different from the one I know of him.
We are working tirelessly on the house that he bought. It's his childhood home, the last home his entire family lived in together. He bought it again 2 years ago and was not taken care of by the previous owners. The backyard is full of weeds, the walls are full of holes, and the carpet looks atrocious. I help him pick out weeds and accompany him to several trips to the landfill. Each day we are dirty and exhausted, but ultimately satisfied.
In the last 5 weeks I've started work at the local hospital- in their psychiatric ward. Im meeting more fascinating people and finding my feet. I'm slowly tolerating the anxiety of driving myself to work (on the opposite side of the road!) but it's getting a bit better each time. I deal with what is one of the most traumatic incidents at work of my life. I'm alone again. My partner is away for two weeks filming that George Clooney movie. I'm living with his dad in his worn down house. It's awkward but comforting. Finding my place slowly in this new country. In the next few weeks we go on a road trip for some dives. Then we settle in Sydney for a month or so while he works on another movie and I get to explore a vibrant city. I''m excited and terrified constantly, like this impending sense of doom that something terrible is going to happen. But I'm getting through. maybe this is just what living in another country feels like. or maybe it's my problem.
either way , I am here.
5:56 p.m. - 2022-02-11
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