warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - sipping mushroom tea, failing miserably at a run, long pauses and laughter at turkey dinner. I've been so unlike myself recently that feeling good feels off. when my mind feels rigid and unable to stretch in ways that are good for me, I feel like I'm walking around the world with tunnel vision only seeing my mistakes, my failures, my reasons for not being good enough. in two months, we finally head to Australia. I have a job waiting for me. we have a house to live in, although the hope is that we will be able to travel around the country as much as possible. I want to see strange places that will surprise me. I want to bake in the sun. I want to laugh so hard with his high school friends at bars he used to frequent. I want to absorb everything and forget to be so caught up in my head. I'm afraid he will never want to settle. having a couple kids, he says, "I'm not against it" but he's not enthused, he could go either way, and in a preferred future he probably wouldn't. but I do- deep in bones, I do. some morning thoughts 7:33 a.m., - 2021-10-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||