warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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I find solace in planning the week ahead. Each day I think about how I can make the most of each day coming up, making lists, envisioning the classes I’ll take, the meals I’ll prep and the exercises I’ll do. However, there’s a problem. In the midst of all my planning I forget to actually remain present within each moment I’ve planned. I meditate and I think about the next thing I can do to take care of myself. I practice yoga and immediately think about what I’m going to have to eat. How rarely am I actually in the moment despite making all my plans to?

This weekend we did one dive off of whytecliff park. The snow looked so graceful as we entered the ocean, the soft flakes pleasantly cooling my face. I was already warm from putting on all the gear and getting frustrated with him and myself for not getting my dumb gloves on on my own. Luckily the dive went better and I finally feel myself improving and not getting as stressed out. I felt weightless, guiding myself with my fins and following his lead as he attempted to take videos of crabs scrambling about the sea bottom. The visibility is poor but I can see him so clearly.
On Monday we head out to the mountains- we meet some friends and have a winter bbq on our friend’s truck. I feel immense joy and hope that the future will have more of these kinds of moments. My snowboarding improves too. He follows me with his go pro as I whizz past him and nail my turns, trying to bend my knees and flick my heels back and forth like I was taught. I think I’m being impressive until my friend literally jumps past me and it’s all caught on camera.


There are certainly moments I can just be.

8:35 a.m. - 2021-02-16

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