warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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Not much new to add here
still inundated with negative self deprecating thoughts at times (lots of times) but I'm functioning fairly well
I'm going to work each day despite how traumatic it is- despite the suffering I see every single day within individuals and within a system that tends to fail people time and time again. Unfortunately, if you are not born in a loving enough family you are kind of fucked for the rest of your life- because really, the government and the current systems in place (political, health, justice etc) are not set up to really ensure you have the environment to reach your highest potential. nothing can replace family and community when it comes down to it. worse, abuse and neglect puts you behind even more- especially if its done by the hands of people that were supposed to protect you. worse, these things tend to get passed down through generations- how else are you supposed to know how to cope with life if this is all you've been taught-- fear and mistrust? poor boundaries? things that are super difficult to fix as an adult unless you have the resources and the safe environment to do those things.
working with young adults who have only known this throughout their childhoods and are only just becoming adults - with brains still forming and wiring- I do what I can to co-regulate and teach skills that can make that happen. but I can't make up for a system that can't protect. I can't make up for intergenerational trauma. but I can continue to show up because this just happens to be my calling.

I'm fucking lucky to do what I do
but I've only been back for 2 weeks and I'm exhausted

8:21 a.m. - 2021-01-14

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