warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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his father might have cancer (again), he's seeing the surgeon this friday. does he go back to Australia without the possibility of returning any time soon(they are extremely strict on on allowing citizens to leave the country) ? does he go in the hopes that restrictions loosen? no doubt he will regret not seeing his family- and i've encouraged him to go no matter what. even if it means not being here for awhile. reactively, i also said i did not want to be in a long distance relationship. his eyes turned, i was making him choose. what a fucking bitch i am. immediately i felt devastated -like i literally just smashed my own heart. after a couple of minutes of silence i said we could make it work no matter what, that it would break my heart if we never tried- but seeing family is important especially when we don't know how much time we have left.
either decision will be hard, we will just have to choose which hard. maybe we wait until i can enter the country. try to get a job. there is mental illness everywhere, i could find work. haha.

ugh anyone else over this pandemic?

7:46 a.m. - 2020-10-28

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