warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - He returns on Friday. I am so excited and yet slightly disappointment in myself that I didn't use more of this alone time to be productive. Is it normal to be jealous of your own partner? How is it that the most intimate relationships drum up everything you have failed to process and change within yourself at such a high degree. Being single did the same thing come to think of it, the same shit is triggered and can either be catalysts for growth or further re-enforcement to simply stay the same. The same lessons keep repeating itself. I struggle with feeling incompetent, not good enough, an imposter in so many things. I see him post incredible feats of diving, adventure, real learning and success. He calls me and tells me of all the things he's doing each day that just seem so beyond anything I can do...and I just feel....blah. Sitting at home scrolling the internet and eating too much junk. Feeling jealous about dumb things like..why won't he post anything about me? is he ashamed of me? 8:15 a.m. - 2020-06-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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