warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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we are spending the weekend by the lake. we will wake up smelling last night's camp fire and we will be covered in yesterday's dirt and sweat. we will drink beers and consume a bit of mushrooms, smear peanut butter on your face and yell "peanut butter falcon!!" (because that's a great movie). I want to share with you more secrets this weekend. I want to tell you I'm afraid sometimes. that one of the things I love most about you- your desire and your ability to be a part of things that are challenging and risky, is also the thing that worries me and keeps me up at night. I wonder if my desire to have a family and a home will get in the way. I wonder if you will be away for months and I won't be able to stand it. I wonder all these things, but I also know we're the kind of people who can make it work. we might not look like every body else, but it will fucking work.

let's hope a weekend by the lake will solidify that.

2:55 p.m. - 2020-05-08

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