warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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i've been pretty low/depressed these last few days. i've mostly been blaming it on the weather rather than my bad habits. i know ruminating about the past or spending my whole day desperately seeking validation from a man is not improving my mood. and while i could write more sentences about the darkness that is creepily enveloping my heart there have been some bright moments the last few days:
hearing his voice on the phone and alleviating all my anxieties about him not wanting me.
2.5 hour dinners with friends talking about dumb things that don't really matter.
crying in the middle of the night desperately wanting to fall asleep and then falling asleep.

i really want to make new friends- people i can have real meaningful heartfelt and difficult conversations with. its gets tiring hearing the same old stories about tinder and bumble and what not. but maybe its just that one friend i need to get some space from. i can create deeper relationships with the people i have now instead of constantly seeking out what i don't have.

3:51 p.m. - 2019-10-20

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