warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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Lonely

It’s funny- I’m always pretending. Always saying what I think should be said, always careful not to step on anyone’s egg shells, always protecting others and myself from difficult emotions. Although I’ve grown in a lot of ways, I am still the same child who fears the discomfort, the ostracization, the loneliness. I remember sitting in the closet bawling my eyes out because I felt like I didn’t belong to my own family. I remember craving to have a group of friends like in those coming of age movies. I dreamt of having a lover that just “got” me. Those longings to belong are still there. I suppose it’s only natural. Our survival depended on our belonging to a tribe to protect us. Any threat to that is a threat to our safety.

Anyhow, I belong to something. I belong to the lonely. And if that’s the case- humanity too.

2:05 p.m. - 2019-03-16

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