warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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The gym was quiet despite being full. All you could hear were the repetitive motions of machines, exhales, the metal clanking, and the weights being dropped to the floor (despite all the signs telling people not to). Everyone "in their game." Focused, determined, hoping another rep, another set would make them worthy of something. Fighting the calories. fighting the war against themselves. to be better than themselves. to be better than everyone else. I laugh at how far we've come. to running from tigers to lifting heavy things and putting them back down. Not because we need it for survival..but be because...we need to survive in this kind of world? look good. be good. whatever

i struggle with the ideas i have about who i want to be and who i have actually become. i sleep with the same two people after telling myself i should stop. the struggle to change is as hard as the struggle to remain the same. things seem stagnant but they are always changing. its just nature, i guess.

i know i need new people in my life. people who inspire me. i know i'm attracting what i put out in the world and right now i'm attracting irritability, anxiety, depression...and i can see it in the people i talk to, the people i choose to hang out with.

oh gosh. where to begin

4:34 p.m. - 2015-07-08

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