warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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my mind unravels in ways i can't control

i can't always stop it
but i can sit in awareness for moments at a time. simply watch as my brain does its usual thing.

i think i'm in love again
i love getting lost in everything he is
his creativity, his humour, his passions,
sometimes my mind wanders into
"am i really good enough for him?"
"does he really want me back?"
i stumbled...no, i looked... and found a birthday card from december, when we were already broken up. it was from a girl who seemed really sweet, and it was written in a clockwork orange themed card. she gave him some coupon for being his sex slave or something. my mind got lost in jealousy. are we only together again because she broke up with him? Am i a last resort? do i only think i'm in love with him because i'm possessive and jealous?

i'm obviously afraid to ask.
hoping his actions will show me what i want to know. of course, that leaves the possibility of simply looking for what i want to see...i could just ask...

ugh!

10:58 a.m. - 2015-05-14

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