warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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The last two days I've been at the nurse's union meeting acting as one of the stewards at my hospital. I've been a union steward for the last two years and honestly i've felt a lot of resistance towards having to know and defend my contract, because i'm simply just not that kind of person. and yet i chose to become a steward so i can stand up for nurses and represent them in scary meetings... and yet i've always been pretty passive. i think that's why the universe keeps giving me tasks or that i subconsciously choose positions that force me to be more assertive or whatever in my life. like, i'm a fucking psych nurse. i have to constantly set limits with my patients, i have to actually tell people in a serious way that yelling at me is simply unacceptable. i have to constantly maintain boundaries and stand up for myself while also responding in a caring and kind manner. (because of course their behaviour is rooted in a lot of pain and trauma, and who am i to judge? but that's another diary entry)
anyway, where was i going.
oh yes.
today i actually raised my hand and said like 10 sentences about the importance of filing grievances and standing up for our right to safe patient care etc. i remember feeling and hearing my heart through my chest as soon as i made the decision to say something. i didn't even go over what i was going to say, i just had an idea. so i waited and i did it.

i'm writing this down because i so very rarely ( and i don't think i have ever during a union meeting) raise my hand to say something. and though i kinda ruminated and went over what i said after and wondered if it made any sense..it felt like a breakthrough,

10:29 p.m. - 2015-02-11

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