warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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sometimes i want to cradle him with advice, tell him he simply needs to choose happiness above all else. that everything around him is fleeting and temporary and there's no need to complain or worry about any of it.
but that's probably what he doesn't need to hear at this time.
so i'll listen, tell him i'm sorry work has been shit.
if i simply live my life as an example, then thats all i can do.

this whole life is a ride. he gets that.

sometimes i'm afraid i'm not doing enough to "keep him" like i need to be something or someone constantly in order to keep him interested. i realize that this is just the ol insecure gremlin talking, telling me to expect the worse, protecting me. i want to be free of that, open, fully conscious and aware of these thoughts as nothing but illusions to keep me safe and separate. of course I'm going to sometimes take my experiences from the past and project it on to him, but at least i can be aware of it. and from there i can transcend.

haha. i mean, hopefully.

9:02 a.m. - 2014-06-11

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