warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i met him at some swanky hipster office at 1am for a dance party. finally met his good dj friend mark, one of those intensely cool friendly bearded dudes who simply exude warmth and sunshine. it was wonderful. his music was good. there was only maybe about 25 people there but i danced with all of them and i felt pretty light and drunk the entire time. james sweat so much his shirt tore in the back. i then went back to his, he's got a new unit but in the same building. much bigger, super hippy and zen, but real nice. we had sex a million times and it was rough and perfect and everything it used to be. anyway, i'm okay. i'm working on training my mind to accept all things and expect nothing. i still torture myself with the same thoughts around work..they haven't exactly left�and i think a lot of that has to do with the way i've been wiring my brain. a neuroscientists once said "neurons that fire together, wire together." so the more i think about something that makes me anxious, the neurons associated with this anxiety will continue to strengthen and wire together, and then it becomes much harder to not think about it and go down the hole. its the reason why anxiety and ocd is so hard to treat, because your brain has already trained itself to feel anxious and to think about those things that bother you. so, simply, i'm working on breathing and letting things go. its all i can do to keep me going. its a beautiful day and i have nothing to do. i'm left with only myself, and its tense and tough but� i'm tougher. 6:59 p.m. - 2014-04-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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