warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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I went on a Mediterranean cruise last week, after only a week at home from Nepal I packed my bags again and spent all my money on a cruise vacation with my family. the kind where the average age on boat is 72.4 the kind where you fall in love with the assistant cruise director because he's the only one there that's close to your age and has a voice like sinatra and you think him showing up everywhere is a sign you should be together rather than a sign that he's an assistant cruise director. we stopped by istanbul, ephesus, florence, rome,marseills, monte carlo, crete, and barcelona. long days characterized by too quick stops at ruins and buildings built thousands of years ago. the kind of thing that's almost impossible to wrap your head around but becomes almost predictable after seeing 10 of them. seeing cities frozen in time, swept by volcanic ash, bodies stuck in fetal positions and mothers clutching to their pregnant stomachs with their faces to the floor. breathtaking architecture. coliseums and libraries that once held souls before Jesus ever did. I even went into the house that the virgin mary supposedly lived in, and my heart instantly burst into peace and i bought a rosary thinking i was going to come home changed and catholic. i saw the bones of st. peter and our group said the Our Father and even then i felt tears form behind my throat

i'm not saying that i now believe that theres a big man in the sky watching over us. but there is something. something in this universe that is making it unfold the way it is for every individual person and plant and animal right here right now, and right there in the past. i saw it, i felt it, i know it. and there is tragedy, volcanoes that burst, and earthquakes and typhoons that erupt in seemingly random areas all over the world, hurting millions. and so how could there be a reason for that? and i think that's my biggest struggle. but again there isn't a big man in the sky judging and inflicting punishments and pain on to some and rewards on to others. in that case all rich people would be good people, which we all know they are not. there are only actions and consequences and stories and neither of these things are good or bad, its just that we humans like to separate things into good or bad. but there is only balance and imbalance. everything is connected. and we are all one.

bam

11:12 a.m. - 2013-11-21

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