warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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i have a date with this "professional magician" tomorrow.
with youtube videos
he talks about positive thoughts bringing positive things, how happiness is simply a "choice" we make every day, that our circumstances are brought by our thoughts and all that good dreamy hippy buddhist type things that are supposedly supposed to make you feel really wonderful and all butterflies.
and all i can think about is how happiness is not something we choose, but rather something we have to fuckin fight and struggle for. chemical imbalances and abuse and children dying are all reasons, perfectly gigantic reasons, why people can't just choose to be goodamn butterflies and cinnamon bun happy all the time.
but maybe that's not what he means.
at least i hope not. i hope he sees happiness as more of an acceptance of things no matter how shitty they are. i don't mean like remaining stagnant in situations that we can change, but accepting that bad things do happen, and it is simply up to us how to incorporate that into our story. whether we make it our end or our beginning. our tragedy or our comedy. our coming of age or the final chapter.
i don't know. what i'm saying is that its a choice, but the way you say "happiness is a choice" makes it sound that people who are sad, either depressed or temporarily so. are at fault. and this sad shaming type of language makes me sad.
to me, happiness is a fleeting emotion just like everything else. we all have a story and happiness is a part but not all of it.
i think we are bigger and more complex than just simply beings looking for happiness.
why don't we look to feel it all, with acceptance.
the most beautiful people i know are also the most broken.
the most beautiful people i know are the ones that can take their cracks their tragedies and their sadness and turn it into something inspiring
and yeah, that was their choice

2:54 a.m. - 2013-09-11

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