warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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Perfectly lonely

Apparently its to get easier each day after a heart is broken. but i wouldn't say each day has been progressively easier. some days i can fill with a whack load of activities and events and classes that may or may not help me forget about him. and sometimes they do and sometimes they make me feel perfectly lonely.

he sent me a text out of nowhere yesterday, which surprised me since only a month before i sent him almost an endless amount of messages about how much i loved him. thinking about it makes me cringe.

but he sent me one, saying he thinks of me often and that he hopes i'm happy. which pissed the shit out of me. felt like he was sorry for me, that he pitied i was alone and he wasn't.

anyway, trying my damnest not to focus on this..i've been trying this deep breathing thing every time i start to feel anxious or like i hate myself. and its kind of working.

also filling my days with fantasies about where i'm going to go and how i'm going to leave this place, watching obama's speech, registering for scuba diving classes...the kind of things that make my heart kinda sing.
even without him

4:33 p.m. - 2012-11-07

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