warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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nothing went as planned.
nothing.
i came to your home with only 1 sentence in mind...
"i like you, but i can't see myself liking you..you know, romantically?"
that was it.
you were supposed to then tell me to leave.
tell me i was a bitch for leading you on.

so why then, did you have to continue making me breakfast. making the funniest jokes. and looking so darn cute all of a sudden. washing the dishes saying, "haha well funny thing is, you're probably gonna regret saying that"
and i was.
and then he continued prying into my soul and he figured me out. like that.
my fears my uncertainty...he forced me to tell him what hurt me. he forced me to tell him what scared me. and it took a lot out of me to say anything.

i felt naked and ripped apart.
no boy has ever done that to me.

how easy it is for me to share my doubts when it comes to men with my girlfriends..but to share it with the very person i am afraid of..was incredibly insane.

he even got me to tell him that i made out with another boy at the club, even after he and i already did some stuff.


there's so much more.
so much
so much that he's figured out about me, its incredibly disconcerting. i don't know what to do, honestly.
but the mystery and the chase around julian is returning. and it excites me more than anything.

that fact that we've been on 4 dates and haven't had sex yet is also kind of exhilarating.


i don't want this to be done just yet.

there's still a bit more to discover.

5:33 p.m. - 2010-07-25

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