warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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the woman i was talking to about preceptorship said there was a possibility that i might be placed at an eating disorders unit for adolescents and teens. my heart shook a little in anxiety and excitement, but mostly, i think the experience would be amazing. and maybe even life-changing. i know nothing about these things, but i want to learn.

last night was ian's birthday party. i felt shocked and disgusted with myself when i realized i couldn't enjoy the party as much because i wasn't the center of attention.
that's no good. after awhile though, i decided to just listen and laugh, because the girls there were just so beautiful and funny. it was hard not to get sucked in both jealousy and admiration. it was a good night, really.

i have a date tonight with some boy on pof. i don't really have any expectations for this other than a free movie and some light conversation about our achievements and interests. but we'll see.

because now i know what i want.
and its not sex.

its emotion and commitment and intimacy and love.

its, for fuck's sake...a boyfriend.

12:39 p.m. - 2010-07-17

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