warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I can honestly say this has been one of my most stressful days in clinical. i hardly want to talk about it because i've already regurgitated almost every single detail and emotion with kajra and my mom about the entire thing. so i'm tired. real tired. let's just say, my instructor is really pushing me to be more professional in my work. and i need it, more than i ever thought possible. sometimes i let the patient push me around, and i'm trying hard to be the RN and the person with, i guess more control over things. but i'm having such a hard time. its a huge clash to my personality, it is so difficult for me to really be assertive, to really take the initiative for once. its painful because all the girls in my group seem to already be at that level. and no , i can't exactly say that because i don't see everything they are doing, only what i am..but when the instructor brought up ALL my issues to the group about how not to do assessments...well, shit. i practically shat in my pants. and then i had to spend the entire time thinking, am i really cut out for this? will i really ever get there? we're already a year into our program and i'm still making these kinds of mistakes? and i just need to like..step back a bit and realize. we're all different, we all learn at different paces, in different ways, and even though its so hard to accept ourselves the way we are, we have to. its the only way we can take the steps to get better, its to be aware of who we are.
and how i have literally no idea if i'll really ever get to the place i want. 4:50 p.m. - 2010-03-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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