warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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Hi.
there were no cathetrizations, there was nothing to make the trip worth it. Our instructor got sick so we all had to separate into different hospitals with different students and a different teacher. my teacher didn't allow me to do anything because she wasn't sure of the protocol etc. so i basically spent two whole days following a student and doing basically close to nothing.

i did experience having one patient on the brink of death. he didn't want us students any longer as he was so tired and so frustrated. we had to keep taking his blood pressure and it was just falling and falling, and i guess at first, i thought nothing of it. mainly because i thought he was just tired and frustrated.

the next morning we found out he had died in the middle of the night. student i was following told me that the clerk just told her quickly and nonchalantly like as if he wasn't a human being with a wife and a teenage son.

anyway.

i might see david tonight. its been a long time since i've felt his presence. i just want to let it all go tonight, whether or not i do see him. i just haven't drank anything toxic in weeks and i kind of just want to let go a little bit. i want to laugh again. its been too long. its been too long since i've felt like total destruction.
so, yeah. i really do hope that this emptiness, this lack of excitement in my life will subside a little soon enough.

i can't say that is entirely true though. a lot of things are going on here..olympics, reading week project with the inner city schools!, ESN program that I am applying for, open mics!, etc etc.

there is a lot going on in my life. i just really, really need a good laugh with some people i haven't seen in a long while. and i hope tonight will fulfill that little tiny piece that has been missing.

(or not. you never want to have high expectations for anything, i've learned)

till next time!

12:55 p.m. - 2010-02-05

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