warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - New Year's: i have no patience for writing down everything that happened last night. but a lot did. a whole lot. i'm glad i went. i mean, i discovered that david doesn't find me as repulsive and unattractive as i thought he did. we cuddled the entire night and he finger fucked me good and gave me the BEST head ever. but, i'm not holding too much hope out for this guy. i'm trying to learn from the past here. he even asked jer for my number and started texted me things about how he'd love to hear me sing again and play the guitar for him. i am highly aware that he is nothing but a fun thing to do at parties, but, i haven't had this kind of crush since high school. i swear it. the constant thoughts of his smiles and his eyes, they're bluish green you know? i just don't know. i'm glad he was my first kiss of the new year. a lot of other things happened. i kissed another boy on the sidewalk and when i realized he might like me more than i had anticipated i literally ran away and left him in the rain. he came back to the house drenched and left just as quickly without his back pack. he must have seen me with david. elijah and michelle broke up, i believe. i let elijah caress my legs, but david was massaging me as this thing was happening so, all thoughts were going to him unfortunately. also kissed adam again. i led him into the bathroom and he carried me and gave me one hot kiss before he said goodbye. strange blurry night. first new year's without the family. first new year's without the sober. i'm not too sure if this new year will also bring a lot of firsts, because if its going to be anything like it was last night, its just going to be a whole lot of the same thing. the drinking, the kissing, the wasting away, the general fucking up of my life. oh well? 1:03 a.m. - 2010-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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