warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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i really hate most of what i write. i hate it because i'm constantly thinking, thinking of what other people are thinking, constantly editing. i'm doing it right now , the editing, the commas, the periods, the hatred the emotion that's so forged and unreal i can't even begin..and i am no longer making sense. because my fingers won't really type out what's going on in this head, in this world. i don't know.

i wrote a song that began with "i get it, I'm a faceless mistake, a one night romance so fake." and i'm wondering if i want this song to be about me or him, i don't know. i'm tired. i'm tired of editing my shit and i just want a good night's sleep. no, i want, i need a good friend. i need a conversation a dialogue that makes me feel something other than this exhaustion. intellectually, i am dying. i have no one really.

and JESUS i need someone right now. i've been listening to songs you posted on your blog and its making me feel really excited about writing and music. you are so beautiful its retarded. human beings like you don't come around so often. i know we've never met, but you probably know more about me/you probably could know more about me than anyone else, i'm not saying we're alike...absolutely not. your perfection is way beyond anything i will ever reach, so there. but truthfully, if i were to tell you the truth, you are so, so lovely.

anyway, this is lame on several levels. i think i would like to get a puppy.

9:24 p.m. - 2009-12-20

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