warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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i heard voices this time. i mean, i do hear voices other times, i often would just forget about it though. i was afraid of sounding crazy. even in my own diary. isn't that something?

i guess i don't want anybody thinking i'm crazy. even myself.

often times they come as conversations in the night. i'm never included. sometimes they talk to me, sometimes they ask me questions. i'm guessing this is what you call sleep paralysis, but it feels much more frightening than that.

i'm reading this book called the zen of seeing/drawing.its changing my life.i realized that i've never really seen anybody before. i've never really lost myself in the contours and the shapes and the lines of people's faces and bodies. in the way they spoke, in the way they ate or drank or walked. i've always put everyone in terms of me, in terms of how i perceive them to be, rather than how they are truly in the moment. am i making any sense? nope.

i guess i am crazy. i missed hookah with my friends last night because i claimed i was studying. i wasn't though. it made me kind of sad because vicki ended our conversation with "fuck you bitch." i mean she said she was joking, but it hit me hard. i think i need new people, because vicki has just joined rugby and she's going to be making new friends. these girls are cute and funny and sarcastic, and i don't think i could ever be a part of that unless i seriously take some hardcore classes on becoming a cool person.

anyway, i can't wait until christmas break. we already have our christmas tree. this entire house is insane. <3

11:30 a.m. - 2009-11-28

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