warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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it's amazing just how much my nursing practice is bleeding through my daily life. just today, as i was talking to my dad about how we're learning about the "3 D's" in older adults; depression, delirium, and dementia, he revealed to me his own experience with depression. how when he divorced his first wife, he would sleep on the couch because it would make him feel someone was there touching his back, pretending it was her, because the loneliness was too much to bear. how he would drink and smoke and hang out with coworkers but they all had lives and families. how his heart felt heavy and wrong just talking about it. "don't tell your mother" he said. and he told me how dark it felt to come home to a place that wasn't really a home.
it's just amazing that i'm getting to know my dad in this way, such a rich history that seems so distant from who i am, and who he is to me.

i hope he's happy now.


i hope this new home feels like one.

10:48 p.m. - 2009-10-22

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