warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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Tommy

I guess you could say I got exactly what I wanted from him. Elijah and I were sleeping on the small futon in the living room when tommy jumped in between us and i rested my arms on his chest. when the lights turned off we were, i guess, spooning each other, and he put his arms around me and curled his fingers between mine and our legs intertwined so perfectly that my heart just burst into a tiny million pieces. after cuddling like that for an hour i turned my head and let him kiss me and touch me wherever he wanted..my boobs, my pussy, my everything..i was a little shy at first... but i let him because everything felt like such a dream. and i touched him with as much love as i could.

the worst thing about it i guess was that elijah probably heard everything. i moan a lot.

but afterwards he moved in such a way that totally pushed me off the bed, and all at once i felt used, disgusted, and downright lame. and this morning we didn't say a word to each other. not even a secret acknowledging smile to recognize that last night was real.

and so now i'm doubting myself. and i have no idea what any of this means.
but even if i did, kiss tommy, whether it was in my dreams or not.. i realized right then that...we would never work. i guess I'd rather someone who'd want to cuddle me even after I touch their penis.

the night overall though, was pretty awesome. corey came and we went to the liquor store together and bought a bottle of 151 and the cashier was all "what are YOU doing tonight" and we're just like.."um. drinking, what the fuck else?" and then we all went to the park and i raced elijah across the baseball field and my feet got all muddy and disgusting, but it didn't really matter because elijah and I were having our own moment. and it was perfect.

then me and helling ran around the sprinklers with our shirts off and i felt so loved and free i just wanted to kiss everybody

but i lost my beer. so that kinda sucked.

11:26 a.m. - 2009-10-18

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