warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tell Me Your Story After the final, me and my azns (yes, they are mine i tell you!) went to the hospital cafe and got ourselves green jello and brought them back to class and it was honestly the coolest thing we've ever done so far. afterwards, met up with mercy, who i haven't seen in foreva..and we walked and talked but really she was with me to see vicki again. which is kinda fail. but it was nice to see her again, and i got to meet her boyfriend, who actually came from Ghana like 8 months ago and is studying bioengineering or something. how cool. ah. anyway, then she left because she knew drinking was coming up somewhere and she's a total abstinent saint of perfection. so vick and i went to steamworks and i listened to her entire story of pain and suffering and poland (and i used ALL those communication skills we learned in school. it was quite effective. haaaaaa) and we talked and talked and drank. and i listened. i really did. and she started to get all sentimental, all you're the best friend i could ask for, and i love you and i'm so happy that i'm alive. and i felt so happy for her, so happy that she's alive. because the truth is i don't appreciate her as much as i probably should. i mean, i guess we're best friends but sometimes i have a hard time telling her what i feel. maybe because she's so damn good at expressing exactly what she feels, and i find that intimidating. or something fucked up like that. but last night I felt her, I actually felt her. i didn't mean to, but i sort of tried to compare it with the pain i went through last summer. Because i understood EXACTLY what she meant when she said how it's practically nirvana to feel nothing. i knew exactly what she was talking about. the sleepless nights in agony..the moments when you can think of nothing but the pain. and we shared our new realization in life that it IS beautiful. that being without pain is more than enough. i mean, people spend years on painkillers and so on but..now that it's over, it's over. there is no more pain. then, we went to library square for alicia's birthday, but not too many people were present. and we felt bad so we asked her if she wanted to come with us to elijah's house, but she had to get picked up by her dad, so we waited with her and ended up not going to his house. so vick slept in my apartment and we talked again over pizza and hotdogs and it was the first time in a long time i've felt really connected to anybody. and that is all.
10:44 a.m. - 2009-10-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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