warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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i'm starting to hate how my stupid-ass nervousness and anxiety and lack of confidence just keeps getting in the way of reaching my true potential or whatever. the professor asked me the easiest question ever and i didn't let myself answer it because i freaked out. in front of the entire class. in front of everyone i'm going to be with in the next two years. like i needed anymore reason to feel like i didn't deserve to be here. and now i'm wondering if i'll ever get better, if i'll ever feel good enough to just speak up. i don't know why but i keep reminding myself that i was waitlisted. that i wasn't the first choice. that they would have preferred the one before me. and now i'm just proving to all of them why. i'm a failure..and the worst thing is...everyone knows it.

all i want is to feel good enough again.

8:19 p.m. - 2009-09-28

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