warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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I'm in love with kajra. she's got such dark skin and such a unique face, but it's when she speaks that you actually get a full taste of her depth and beauty. from her sarcasm to her piercings and her tattoo that apparently, when pronounced in a certain way, is supposed to sound like the hush of the earth. when she drove me home tonight, i realized she's one of the few people i feel like i can actually talk to about the universe, about feeling alone and insignificant, about how amazing and sad the moon looks, about boys not noticing me, without feeling like a total moron. seriously, even with vicki, there are very few moments when i can speak freely without worry, without editing.

or maybe i'm just really drunk.

i texted corey some horrible sexual messages and i'm severely embarrassed....i was at vicki's today, and some guy, marcel, convinced me to text really embarrassing things to him, like "i'm not wearing any underwear." seriously, man. what the hell. i hate how i absolutely know that he's not even close to interested in me. but i'm a girl. so i hold on to that stupid small glimpse of hope that one day he'll want to be my boyfriend. or at least fuck me. or at the VERY LEAST have a conversation with me. shit, that's sad.

shockingly enough, there are three ridiculously good looking men in my nursing program. like, no joke...really, really handsome guys. one guy has the same name as me. which is a sign right? and the other guy looks like brad pitt and his name is benjamin ( I just realized the connection). UNFORTUNATELY, none of them are in any of my clinical practices so i basically have no chance. also, they are 3 of only 8 men in our class of 90. so my chances of making something happen through this are about slim to none. but that's pretty much the truth in whatever situation.

12:00am - 2009-09-12

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