warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm Ready

i wrote an entry a couple of minutes ago. but it disappeared. it was probably never meant to be finalized. which makes sense. it made me really sad.

he brought me back to those feelings again. those feeling of disgust and ... undesirability. i already kind of felt it this weekend when T rejected my moves. i don't hate him for it. i just feel ugly about it.
i don't know why he keeps coming back into my life. i'm hoping that once i return all his cd's he will stop messaging me these sad stories. about how lost and alone he is. i keep telling him that i want him to be happy, that there is nothing more in my life that i want more than his happiness. and its true. i hate knowing that he feels destroyed because of me. why does he tell me these things? what am i supposed to do? tell me. i'm not that girl for him. i'm selfish and stupid. i guess its the uncertainty that's killing us. do we have it? do we not? what do we do if we do? will everything change?

why does he have to come back and make me feel this way again.

in lighter news. i'm becoming obsessed with youtube musicians. most notably, Mellissa Polinar, Jennifer Chung, and this guy named AJ? i'm in love with all of them. and it kinda makes me want to write again.

In lighter, lighter news. there is this greek boy. he's a libra. and all he does is make me smile.
�

I listened to this song while writing this entry. music starts at 3 minutes. its soooo slowjam man.

YouTube - Melissa Polinar "I'm Ready" (original) and a little update (9.24.08)
�

1:02 a.m. - 2009-08-17

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next