warpednormal's Diaryland
Diary
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i wanna wake up one day and fall in love with myself. i'm proud of jena. i mean, i'm proud of her strength and her vulnerability. i'm proud of her ability to stand up for herself. how she can work hard for what she wants without stepping on anybody. i'm proud of myself for sticking with her despite having the people she trusts and needs leave her and express their hate (jealousy) for her constantly. she's beautiful. and i'm proud of myself for being one of the few people to really see that.
I'm sad when i see people waste so much energy on something as juvenile as hatred. for a human being. i think if we spent more time trying to understand...we'd have a lot less of that..ignorance.
ergh. i think i now have a tent for the weekend. i guess i'm going.
FEAR SUCKS BALLSS. i was (somewhat) of a loser in high school. meaning i hung out with the losers. i didn't go out to parties with beer and cheerleaders. i stayed at home with the family and watched foreign films and studied for quizzes. i went to the park with my friends to play on the swings, not to smoke weed. we made up stories and drew characters in our minds, and made silly videos of our ultimate loserness. but hey, we were us. WHAT I"M TRYING TO GET AT IS...this camping trip is filled with the "popular kids." i mean, jer's friends were most definitely the jocks in high school. no doubt about it. and i'm scared that all those insecure and horrible feelings that i felt back then will come back to haunt me and i'll start making a huge fool of myself again as it were back then. i always wanted to be a part of them, be one of them, but god. now its happening. i'm quite positive that i will have a huge crush on each of these guys, and now i'll have to watch them as they ignore me and flirt with the pretty girls. WTF. i sound so horrible. this is an entry from like years ago, i swear to you. it's been 2 years since graduation. i need to stop being such a baby.
and just love myself.
3:26 p.m. - 2009-08-13
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