warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I don't want to say that I am jealous of the quite obvious fact that my best friend's boyfriend is funny and gorgeous, and maybe, everything i want in a man but i don't know. i don't want to say i'm lonely, that the only reason why i ever thought about dallas beyond that one night is because i feel terrible and insecure about myself. that when finally meeting tommy and matt after vicki and jeremy said so many amazing things about them, and they never even bothered to flirt or talk to me that i felt so goddamn ugly and awful about myself. that when you asked me what was up, and i said nothing, that i actually wanted to break down and hold you and tell you how afraid i was of becoming a failure. that sleeping alone on your couch while you and your lover were having the most magical time kissing and joking and painting pretty colored pictures in each other's minds that i felt so alone and afraid that such a moment would never happen to me. i didn't talk very much last night, unless i was saying something totally humiliating. i don't think i was drunk.i accidentally touched you in a way that might be considered forward. i'm sorry i wanted attention, i'm sorry that i wanted you to just look at me and want me in any way. no, in a way that makes you want to rip your heart out and your clothes off. i just wanted that. please know that i am just lonely, and messed up, and in need of understanding. real hardcore understanding. understand that i'm just like you, shy and insecure, desperate for change and happiness. understand that we might be something magical. � This girl is beautiful. i'm glad she won. YouTube - Everytime 12:17 p.m. - 2009-08-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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