warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - ugh. i really hate it when vick says such things, "omg...am i like stealing your friends now or something?" because it honestly seems like she can't get any of her own friends from her own personal life to come hang out with her so she goes and takes my college friends and goes camping with them without me (vick is my friend from high school) and normally i wouldn't find that annoying but ever since i found out that jordan has a girlfriend who's fucking gorgeous i've been seriously depressed. i spent the day at work contemplating whether or not i should text the guy just to get him slightly back into my life again. honestly, its not just about that. its not just about jordan. but it has caused me to really think about myself and what i've been doing with myself lately. . i went to nennika's high school grad today. there were WAY TOO MANY GRADUATES. they went through EACH one of them individually to present their plaque..and i am not shitting you, it took them about 2 hours. i wanted to die. plus i had the worst tooth ache in the world that is most definitely going to be the end of me. what i really wanted that to lead to, however, was what the valedictorian said about the difference between living and existing.and how existing is routine, while living is being in the moment. and i know, deep in my freaking heart that as much as i like to tell myself that i "live each day as my last" i more or less...feel like a waste of space. i had my "test" today. the nurse was ridiculously nice, and she really inspired me about wanting to become a nurse again. even though her fingers were up my cervix, and i for the most part wanted to die...she was so comforting and concerned, and i just..really want to be like that one day. anyway, i hope this funky mood blows over soon. because being this depressed is so not me. the worst thing is i hardly miss dan. he doesn't excite me at all... that pisses me off. plus, it is so obvious that we went too fast and that we didn't take the time to become friends before we dove into the romance. and right now, the romance is just suffocating. In more wonderful news 10 MORE DAYS AND ITS OFF TO FUCKING PARIS!! 9:21 a.m. - 2009-06-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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