warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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I am addicted to making you love me.

I go too fast. I'm like a man, sex first, i'll get to know you later. maybe. perhaps its an insecurity thing, i don't know. i'm just beyond confused and i need some time alone. i said that already. but i need it. i am going to message jordan and daniel. i am going to tell them the truth. that i am young, and i am not ready, and that we went too fast, and that i want to find myself, and that i want to spend more time with my girlfriends, and my brothers, and my parents, and i want to volunteer, and spend time with kids, and i want a job, and i really, really, don't need a boyfriend. the cuddling, the sex, the dried eyes after sleeping with contacts...is new and wild and amazing for me. but i miss the old me...at least i can go back to a more edited old me, but still. i also need to get tested for stds again. i don't know. i've been really uncareful. and i'm worried as fuck that that is going to bite me in the ass hard. god. why do they have to like me so much. every hour we're together daniel tells me how beautiful i am, how cute i am, how my eyes light up the night. jordan...haha, oh jordan...its complicated. so complicated.


i'm just so lost. and i need some time alone.


P.S i never watched american idol this season because i got TOO caught up with it last year. still, i'm kind of really awfully upset that glam sex god rocker lambert lost the title to the cute christian boy next door


P.P.S This is why vicki is my best friend. she just facebook messaged me a video of amateur porn, and it was honestly the best thing i've ever seen. she told me that this is the one way you can get an orgasm during sex. she then messaged me a video of a guy fucking a girl with a 15inch dick. ohman.

i'm exahusted.

ALSO. I am apprently in charge of finding a number of corporate sponsor's for the agape club. WHAT? how do i do that? i don't know. oh well, i welcome the challenge. and i need something else to do other than worry about boys.

I had a dream that you were with me, and it wasn't my fault. also, someone please punch that screaming twilight edward fanatic thing in the face. yeah. k thanks.

YouTube - My Never- Blue October (Breaking Dawn)

11:29 p.m. - 2009-05-21

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