warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - it has only been 12 days of summer, and i feel like i have done nothing but destroy my already low self-esteem and make a mess out of everything and everyone. jordan and i did it again, and he asked me if i was bipolar. i keep changing my mind about things. i guess, we're fwb now, as he calls it. ergh. i don't know. i crave him sometimes. i crave his touch and his caresses. I slept naked beside him last night, and i shivered as his hand caressed my entire body. i don't know. its all physical, but its all so amazing still. i'm meeting josh on thursday. i'm very excited. he wants me to volunteer in his summer camp, bring kids to the water park and playland and la dee dah. SOUNDS SWEET ASS if you ask me! Did you know that my grandmother on my dad's side has the same birthday as my grandfather on my mother's side? also, both my brothers have the same birthday as my dad's sister and brother. and even though that sounds ridiculous, it makes sense. because i think in the whole randomness of things, things turn out to look as if they are not so random, because it IS so random. you know, that makes SO much more sense in my head? argh. i applied for a kajillion jobs yesterday. i need money. this summer is sucking balls. i need to volunteer again. i need to see people other than jordan, cam and vicki. because i'm missing people in my life, people that think in a totally different wavelength than me, but i need it. i need different views, different opinions, a different sort of fun. i feel so stuck in a rut right now. 1:36 p.m. - 2009-05-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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