warpednormal's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I'm pretty sure if someone knew every single detail of my life up to this point, they would be seriously confused. I graduated with the highest mark in my class, 5 scholarships, a picture on the front page of a Catholic Health Newspaper. Now, if people knew what I have done NOW. well, fuck man. it's terrible, abso-fucking-lutely. I've slept with 3 men in 2 months...and I've known NONE of them for more than 4 hours. I've yet to know what love really is, or means, and even how sex is supposed to feel. I say that I enjoy sex, but to be honest, i hate it. I hate it because I hate myself, and I realize now that the only reason why I can't enjoy it is because I don't feel good about myself. These men, they don't know me at all. the true me. i can't deal with that. But being rejected constantly by people who DO know me, it makes you desperate for some sort of whatever, affection or just something. I don't want to do this anymore. i really can't. 7:47 p.m. - 2009-03-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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