warpednormal's Diaryland Diary

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to be honest, i don't care that i am so vulnerable. that i fall so easily and so willingly. that i let myself be happy. for a moment, with the butterflies in the stomach and the overwhelming fantasies.
i don't mind that i always think its love every time i meet someone who treats me a little better than the average joe, if you will. i should though, right? i should be that strong spirited independent woman, weary of men and their many deceits. i shouldn't let myself be so open and vulnerable.
right?
but must I? must i restrain myself from feeling what i feel just because everyone tells me they are irrational. they are MY feelings. MINE. you have no right to tell me what to do, and more importantly you have no right to tell me what i should feel.

so yeah. i don't care. i'm going to keep putting my heart out there. i'm going to keep getting hurt and destroyed and torn and broken apart. because, guess what. its in those moments that i learn the most. and its within those moments that i feel absolute ecstasy and the most joy and love. because my heart is free to do what its meant to do. i'm doing this out of my own free will.

i'm doing this because its the only way i know how.

1:00 a.m. - 2010-04-14

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